"A Quarter"

 

    One of the benefits of going to the grocery store with my mom was that she would give me a quarter to use in the candy and prize machines. The other benefit was sometimes being able to pick out a box of sugary cereal, but that rarely happened. As I look at this image, I am reminded of how little it took to make this little girl happy. I wasn't much of a candy eater, so I would go directly for the machines with the little plastic prizes. I'll try to remember some of them...a ring with a fake plastic stone was my favorite, plastic figures, a chain, tiny erasers and once in a while a super ball was fun. I felt very lucky on the drive home that I was able to get a tiny toy on that day with just a quarter. (I think the the dime and nickel machines had the candies). 

    There were no devices to be on after family dinners. It was person to person contact instead of social media. The kids on the court I grew up on would meet up for our nightly game of hide and seek. The street lamp would go off and into our homes we went. I had barbies, color books, binder paper and pencils to keep me busy and my boy neighbors had their legos and chess game. They would also build their own high tech kites. They were huge! When we got a little older, we could ride our bikes to 7-11 for slurpees. Can anyone out there relate to this? Haha.

    Today, our world is different for children because it just is. Time marches on and things change. I'm grateful I can look back and remember those simple days of putting my shiny quarter into the machine and that exhilarating feeling of twisting that lever...click, click, click and out came my prize in the plastic egg shaped container. 

    "What did I get!"

    

The "Power" of Talking

 

    I love this representation - the simple interaction of one person telling another person about troubling thoughts and feelings they're having about something, someone or a situation. This is commonly know as "therapy" in an office type setting, but it can be done anywhere and with anyone. There is also the other end of the power of talking and that is the "power of listening." This can take some skill.

    What I see in the image above is a woman with her many thoughts mixed up, leaving her confused and unsure. She could perhaps be scared as well. Her thoughts look like a bunch of yarn that is tangled. If there are any knitters or crocheters out there, you know how frustrating this can be. You almost want to give up at tying to entangle the yarn and saying "heck with it!" and throw them in the trash. I would see that as denial or burying your head in the sand. "If I don't see the problem, it will go away." Back to the power of talking...As she begins to blurt out all she is feeling, the speaker is listening. And listening. The listener is careful not to interrupt the speaker's flow of words. Sensing the right time (a pause), the listener reflects back what she thinks she heard the speaker say; validation. As they together sort out her different tangled emotions, the strands yarn are separated and put to their proper ball of yarn. I see three different categories above in three different colors. I am assuming she is leaving the office with three different areas in her life to work on. Most importantly and hopefully, she is leaving with clarity,

    Then, there of course is the aspect of the speaker "getting it all out." There is nothing worse than keeping your feelings bottled in; man or woman. Our feelings have merit because for whatever reason; good or bad - it's how we feel! During this session, I am going to assume that there were certain things she disclosed that was best to let go of; no need for them to be taking up space in her head. This eases the entanglement; better focus.

    And if we listen well enough, sometimes the person who trusts us enough to share with us, will come to their own solutions or plan of action; literally talking herself into a calmer and more organized space.

    I'm not sure if good therapy rests in the power of listening or talking. 

    

"Ocean" haiku

 

Ocean

                                                               

                                                             playground for vessels

                                                           a kingdom for marine life

                                                            

                                                               Together, they share

"Natural Bridges"

                                                 Natural Bridges - Santa Cruz, Ca 

       One of the gifts of living on the coast...the sunsets. Last weekend, we had an early dinner in Davenport that is about 15 miles north of this photo. Our goal was to have dinner and head back towards Santa Cruz to watch the sun set. As you can see, we barely made it. We literally drove into the parking lot and I jumped out of the jeep to take this picture. Once I captured the sunset, I could relax and take in the dramatic moments of its setting. There was a light breeze and there must have been thirty pelicans on the rock pictured to the left. You can see the ice plants with their yellow flowers and the warm reflective colors of the sunset on the water. 

    I'm amazed that no matter which beach we go to along the coast to watch the sunset, we are among many who are all fixated on the horizon; waiting. When I'm at sunset, I'm completely present and whatever is pressing on my mind at the time is put to the side. What a beautiful way to end the day in hopes of a wonderful tomorrow.

"My Mom"

 

                                                                   

                                   My mom in her assisted living home on her birthday

My mom is near

yet she is far away

though I speak many words to her

she remembers nothing of what I say

she started "forgetting"

several years ago

simple tasks became hard

no longer could she sew

For her independence she fought

as hard as she could

no longer able to live alone

I only wish she understood

most days she knows me

some days are unclear

 her hand in mine

these precious moments are dear

"Linda was supposed to be Toby"

       That little girl in the image above was intended to be a little boy fishing next to his dad. Instead, it's me. It's all good. My parents had two children, a son being the oldest and a daughter. They were four years apart in age. Without getting too personal, my dad had a difficult time bonding with my older brother. Freddie cried a lot and my mom was there to comfort him (so I'm told). I don't think he played any sports or had much interest in them as a kid. In high school, Freddie got a drum set and liked to jam with his friends. He drove a nice black GTO. But, he never made time for my dad. 

    Ten years after my sister was born, my dad told my mom that he wanted to have another son. He wanted a son that played baseball so he could be his biggest fan,  fish with him. watch sports with him, work with him...he wanted a son to be his pal. My mom agreed that they would try for another son. My dad said, "and his name will be Toby." (Now, I have no idea whatsoever where he came up with the name Toby).

    Back in those days (the olden days), there were no sonograms to reveal the sex of the baby. It was always a surprise. Long story short one late October night, I was born. 

    The whole point of this little story is that sometimes we don't get exactly what we want or pray for, but sometimes we get just what we need. I was extremely close to my dad. He was my hero and my best pal. 

He taught me to fish and I loved every minute of it. He even got me up at 4:30am one morning to go frogging. Yes, we went to some swampy place South of Gilroy and went frogging. Our neighbor Jack was my dad's fishing buddy. He had two sons and the five of us went together on this frogging adventure. I wasn't present when my dad dismembered the frogs, but I do remember my mom frying the frog legs. They were delicious! We went on many fishing trips together. My dad was a journeyman welder by trade, but he could build and fix anything. I helped him build a fence on a few acres of property we had. I pulled weeds and mowed the lawns with him on Saturdays. I remember my little fingers hanging onto the back belt loops of his jeans while he mowed, while I followed. He had a pool built in our back yard and we swam together all the time. He would swim laps and I would do summersaults under water. He cheered me on at my softball games too. He taught me to change the tire on my first car and I can honestly tell you that I wasn't paying attention. Sorry, dad.

My dad got his Toby after all.

Dad, I miss you more than words can say.

    

"Kindness"

 

                                             Resurrection Church in Santa Cruz, California

    My son participated in community service work through the elementary school he was attending. David is the adorable little boy with the glasses. He wears contact lenses now and six years older, soon to graduate high school. During the school year, the junior high pull together to feed the homeless once a month. An email is sent out to students' parents who want to participate with a sign up sheet attached. "Would you like to bring main course, side dish, dessert, drinks or plates and utensils?" The meals weren't coordinated to the tea so to speak, but they always turned out perfect.

    On this night, we brought a main course dish to share. Not only were the kids learning to be of service to the homeless in our community, but they were learning about giving "their time" to others. Our time is  a precious gift. Especially, when we give of our time to listen. In the center of the photo, you can see an older gentleman enjoying his dinner. And he isn't eating alone. Part of this service is sitting down with a guest to have conversation and enjoy a meal together. Usually, what happens is the kids end up doing a lot of listening. This particular man had a lot to say! He was a Vietnam Vet and told a few light hearted stories. It was an unexpected surprise when David sat down next to him to have dinner. He gladly welcomed the gesture.

    There is something about food that brings people together; especially a home cooked meal. As their hosts, one night a month cots are also set up for them with blankets and sandwich lunch bags for the following morning when they have to leave. For this one night, a person with no place to call home can enjoy a home cooked meal, good company, a warm bed and a good night's sleep. ❤️